So God Made a Farmer

Paul Harvey wrote this many years ago.  It seemed appropriate to use it on "Green Acres".  Hope y'all will enjoy it as much as I did.


And on the eighth day, God looked down on his planned paradise and said I need a caretaker- So God made a Farmer

God said I need somebody willing to get up before dawn, milk the cows, work all day in the field, milk cows again, eat supper then go to town and stay past midnight at a meeting of the school board-So God made a Farmer


I need somebody with arms strong enough to wrestle a calf and yet gentle enough to deliver his own grandchild; somebody to call hogs,tame cantankerous machinery, come home hungry, have to await lunch until his wife's done feeding visiting ladies, then tell the ladies to be sure and come back real soon, and mean it-So God made a Farmer

God said I need somebody willing to sit up all night with a newborn colt, and watch it die, then dry his eyes and say maybe next year. I need someboby who can shape an axe handle from a persimmon sprout, shoe a horse with a hunk of car tire, who can make a harness out of hay wire, feed sacks and shoe straps, who at planting time and harvest season will finish his forty hour week by Tuesday noon and then, paining from tractor back, will put in another 72 hours- So God made a Farmer





God had to have somebody willing to ride the ruts at double speed to get the hay in ahead of the rain, and yet stop in midfield and race to help when he sees first smoke from a neighbor's place-So God made a Farmer

God said I need somebody strong enough to clear trees and heave bales,  yet gentle enough to wean lambs and pigs and tend to pink combed pullets; who will stop his mower for an hour to splint the broken leg of a meadowlark. It had to be somebody who'd plow deep and straight and not cut corners; somebody to seed, feed, breed, and rake and disk and plow and plant and tie the fleece and strain the milk and replenish the self-feeder and a hard week's work with a five-mile drive to church. Somebody who would bale a family together with the soft, strong bonds of sharing; who would laugh and then sigh, and reply with smiling eyes when his son says he wants to spend his life doing what dad does-
So God made a Farmer


      SHALOM  Y'ALL - Twyla

Things Aren't Always What They Seem...

A couple days ago I "felt like it was the end of the world".  Things just weren't going well... Family problems, house problems, health problems... you know the drill... "when it rains it pours."  (And, by the way, it DID rain - lots and lots - all weekend and all day Monday.) But the last straw was when Moxie went missing.  I got up Sunday morning,  fed all the animals, then the people, as usual.  After I fed Moxie, she went outside like she always does.

On any given day, Moxie would go in and out of the house all day like an eight year-old boy with spring fever.  Ohhhh, but not Sunday.  Moxie went out to play that morning and didn't come back.  I kept looking for her all day, busy with whatever all I did that day, but often realizing that I did not have that usual dog underfoot.  Most days, except when she's outside, Moxie is in the same room with me.  I've often joked by singing "Me and My Shadow" as I enter a room, dog in tow.

So, by about three o'clock in the afternoon, I was quite distressed about Moxie.  I feared the worst, imagining her injured somehow and lying alone in the woods... Or, hit by a car... Or taken away by some stranger... We got in the Jeep and road all around the neighborhood looking for her to no avail.  Periodically I would go outside and call her;  I would walk the perimeter of the house,  peering into the woods, hoping to see or hear her.  But, nothing.





Monday was the pits.  I cried a lot.  I've lost pets in the past, but I have never had a dog before, so this was a new type of loss.  I remember my mother called that day to chat;  I wanted to tell her about Moxie, but I was afraid I would burst into tears.  I cut the conversation short.  I wasn't ready to talk about the dog. And the dismal rain.  And...etc., etc., etc.  Monday was pretty much a wasted day - dark, dismal and rainy all day.  I did the bare minimum...  and went to bed early, sad and longing for the escape of sleep.

Tuesday is errand day, so off I went to town.  On the way home I prayed, "Lord,  please give me a sign that everything is gonna' be alright.  A sign.  Any sign."  A moment later, still talking with God, I said, "Y'know how I asked for a sign, any sign.  Well, I have a specific request.  I will 'know it in my knower' that You are listening to me and that everything will be okay if You send Moxie home. I'm not trying to be presumptuous, but You are God  and with God nothing is impossible."

Me, watching a movie with Moxie and Pickles

Ten minutes later I pulled into the driveway.  Moshe came up to the Jeep to help me carry groceries in. And, he said, "I have a surprise for you in the house."  The surprise was Moxie!  Moshe explained, "About ten minutes ago, she simply walked down the hill and into our yard.  She was real dirty and real hungry, but she's okay."

And so we have our little household back in its rightful order.  And, once again God has proven that He will never leave me or forsake me.  Is life perfect?  No.  Is my health perfect?  No.  Is the house perfect?  No.  But God is!
SHALOM  Y'ALL - TWYLA

Beau

Beau, walking up the driveway

We have 2 cats, 17 chickens, 3 roosters, and 1 and 1/2 dogs.   The 1/2 dog is "Beau", or at least that's what I've named him.  Beau showed up on our property several months ago, every rib showing through his fur, skittish and shy. He slept under the front porch all winter.  He and our Moxie immediately became best buddies, and they eagerly look forward to runs in the woods, walks down the road, wading in the ice-cold nearby stream.  When it snowed, they were like excited children, running through the drifts, "laughing" and eating the snow... then, coming back to our yard,  soaking wet and out-of-breath, but happy.

He's a pretty boy, isn't he?

We have been feeding Beau twice daily all these months. He has learned to trust me enough that he shows up just before mealtime, and knows that  I will be filling his bowl without fail.  He knows my routine and always joins in on feeding the chickens.  Over these many months Beau and I have ever-so-slowly developed a friendship.  Small steps; very small steps.  At first he would follow me in the yard, keeping a distance of six feet or so.  Then, he would follow me closely, but never touching.  Then, he started coming up alongside of me and just barely touching my hand with his nose.  One day I spontaneously offered him a bite of cornbread - and he took it!  Then, another and another until the cornbread was gone.  Moshe and I both had tears in our eyes after that episode; it had to have taken a lot of gumption  for Beau to decide to trust me.  A few days ago, he allowed me to pet him.  He has taken to sleeping on the back porch, right up against the sliding glass door, as if to say, "I belong here... And I'm gonna'  be just as close to my new people as possible."

Best Buddies...

Meanwhile, Moxie-the-wonder-dog is so generous of our attention.  She shares the talking, the petting, and the food with her buddy, Beau.  When I call them, they come bounding up to me.  Beau still holds back, but I can tell that Moxie is telling him, "Go ahead.. Let her pet you... It feels good... She's nice."  Beau stands back and looks longingly at Moxie and me.

He looks longingly inside the house, too.  I suspect he's been inside a house before.  Will he ever be comfortable enough to come inside ours?  Who did he belong to?  And, why is he so scared of people - especially men?  We suspect that someone abused this precious dog... he has been abandoned at best... more than likely beaten as well.  I am thankful that Beau showed up at our house.  I am glad to be gaining his trust and his friendship.

Y'know, God wants to be our friend, much like I have wanted to befriend Beau.  We come to Him broken in spirit, perhaps broken in body as well... And He patiently waits for us to trust Him.  He stands at the doorway to heaven, bidding us enter.  And, the only thing holding us back is ourselves.

Shalom  Y'all - Twyla

Hello From the Dog...

A friend sent me this email today.  It's so reflective of how  a dog must feel. I'm adding photos, etc. Again, as is with so many emails, I wish I knew who originally wrote it so that I could give them credit.

 Dear God: It's me, the Dog 

Dear God:  Is it on purpose that our names are the same, only reversed? 

Dear God:  Why do humans smell the flowers, but seldom, if ever, smell one another? 

Dear God:  When we get to Heaven, can we sit on your couch?  Or will it be the same old story? 

Dear God:  Why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cougar, the mustang, the colt, the stingray, and the rabbit, but not ONE named for a Dog? How often do you see a cougar riding around? We love a nice car ride! Would it be so hard to rename the 'Chrysler Eagle' the 'Chrysler Beagle'? 

Dear God:  If a Dog barks his head off in the forest and no human hears him, is he still a bad Dog? 

Dear God: We Dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand signals, whistles, horns, clickers, beepers, scent IDs, electromagnetic energy fields, and Frisbee flight paths. What do humans understand? 

Dear God:  More meatballs, less spaghetti, please. 

Dear God:  Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I have to apologize? 

Dear God:  Here is a list of just some of the things I must remember to be a good Dog: 

1. I will not eat the cat's food before he eats it or after he throws it up. 

2. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc., just because I like the way they smell. 

3. The Litter Box is not a cookie jar. 

4. The sofa is not a 'face towel'. 

5. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff. 

6. I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the toilet. 

7.  Sticking my nose into someones crotch is an unacceptable way of saying 'hello'. 

8. I don't need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm under the coffee table. 

9. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house - not after. 

10. I will not come in from outside, and immediately drag my butt across the carpet. 

11. I will not sit in the middle of the living room, and lick my crotch. 

12. The cat is not a 'squeaky toy', so when I play with him and he makes that noise, 

it's usually not a good thing. 

P.S.  Dear God: When I get to Heaven, may I have my testicles back?
SHALOM  Y'ALL - Twyla

  

Valentines Day - Day of Lust, Not Love

What does that "heart" shape really mean?

This information can be easily verified at your local library or on the internet. Don't take my word for it; look it up.  You will find even more details than I am including in this post. Each year on February 14th  millions of people celebrate a day known as “St. Valentine’s Day.” Countless heart-shaped cards and boxes of chocolates are given as gifts. Even churches have Valentine parties on this so-called “Day of Love.”  People of all ages get into the act, from school-age children  on up to  elderly folks.

,,,the heart is deceitful above all things...

Sadly,  most people never question the origin of the customs that they involve themselves with; they don't ask questions.  They do what everybody else is doing, never stopping to consider how God feels about these activities. When we consider that Valentine’s Day is a day of preoccupation with the heart, it is essential that we listen to the following words spoken by the Almighty, “The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it? I the Lord search the heart, I try the reins, even to give every man according to his wages, and according to the fruit of his doings.” Jeremiah 17:9-10 Christians should be known by their discernment and should be asking questions regarding Valentine’s Day. What is the origin of this unusual day? Why is there a preoccupation with the color red? Where did the heart shape come from, and what does it mean?

 The ancient Romans believed that every month had a spirit and that this spirit  gained  strength and reached its maximum power in the middle of the month. This was usually the 15th day, and it was a day when witches and augurs, or soothsayers worked their magic.  Since February  had only 28 days, the ides of February became the 14th day of that month.   February 14th was called “Lupercalia” or “day of the wolf.” This was a day that was "sacred" to the sexual frenzy of the goddess Juno.
This day also honored the Roman gods, Lupercus and Faunus, as well as the legendary twin brothers, Romulus and Remus,who were said to have founded Rome.. These two are also said to have been suckled by wolves in a cave on Palatine Hill in Rome. The cave was called Lupercal and was the center of the celebrating on the eve of Lupercalia or February 14th. On this day, Lupercalia, which was later named Valentine’s Day, the Luperci or priests of Lupercus dressed in goatskins for a bloody ceremony. The priests of Lupercus, the wolf god, would sacrifice goats and a dog and then smear themselves with blood. These priests, made red with sacrificial blood, would run around Palatine Hill in a wild frenzy swinging a bloody strip of  goatskin  called a “februa.”


Women would sit all around the hill, as the bloody priests would strike them with the goatskin strips to make them fertile. The young women would then gather in the city and their names were put in boxes. These “love notes” were called “billets.” The men of Rome would draw a billet, and the woman whose name was on it became his sexual lust partner with whom he would fornicate until the next Lupercalia or February 14th.


Thus, February 14th became a day of unbridled sexual lust.
The color “red” was sacred to that day because of the blood and the “heart shape” that is popular to this day. The heart-shape was not a representation of the human heart, which looks nothing like it. This shape represents the human female matrix.
When the Gnostic Catholic Church began to get a foothold in Rome around the 3rd century A.D., they became known as Valentinians. The  Valentinians retained the sexual license of the festival in what they called “angels in a nuptial chamber”, which was also called the “sacrament of copulation.” This was said to be an reenactment of the marriage of “Sophia and the Redeemer.” As the participants of the February 14th ritual began their sexual sacrament, presided over and watched by the priests known as Valentinians, the following literary was spoken: “Let the seed of light descend into thy bridal chamber, receive the bridegroom… open thine arms to embrace him. Behold, grace has descended upon thee.”
As time went on, the Orthodox Church suppressed the Gnostic Catholics and manufactured “St. Valentine”, whose day continues to be celebrated in these modern times.

...but, it looks so innocent...

Once a Believer in Christ realizes what "Valentines Day" really is, he or she should avoid participating in this holiday.  In God’s eyes, it is still “Lupercalia”, the “Day Of The Wolf.” Men become wolves, as they carry on the Satanic rituals of fornication.  We must ask ourselves, “Should a true Believer be associated in any way with this celebration?  Romans 12:2 answers this very well, “And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind…”




Not everyone loves St. Valentine
The religious police in Saudi Arabia, in 2002 and 2008, banned the sale of all Valentine's Day related items. The police warned shop workers to remove any items colored red as they consider Valentine's Day a Christian holiday. In 2008 this ban created a black market for roses and wrapping paper.
In Pakistan, the Jamaat-e-Islami political party has called for the banning of the holiday. Despite this declaration the celebration of Valentine's Day has grown increasingly popular. Florists are expected to sell a large amount of flowers, especially red roses.
In Iran, the celebration of Valentine's Day has been harshly criticized by conservatives who see the day as opposed to Islamic culture. The Iranian printing works owners' union, in 2011, issued a directive banning the printing and distribution of any goods promoting the Valentine's holiday such as cards, gifts, teddy bears, posters, boxes printed with hearts or red roses. Activities promoting the holiday are also banned. The union warned that "Outlets that violate this will be legally dealt with."
It is a shame that the Islamic religious leaders find offense in Valentines Day, while our so-called Christian nation continues to celebrate it.

So, does it  REALLY MATTER?

Are you caught in a web of deceit?

Does it matter that an ancient festival used to worship pagan gods and promote fertility was adopted by the church and used to worship the God of the Bible? Does God really CARE what customs are used to worship and honor Him or what holidays we celebrate?
Notice the following warning God gave to Israel: "When the Lord your God cuts off from before you the nations which you go to dispossess, and you displace them and dwell in their land, take heed to yourself that you are not ensnared to follow them, after they are destroyed from before you, and that you do not inquire after their gods, saying, 'How did these nations serve their gods? I  also will do likewise.' You shall NOT worship the Lord your God in that way; for every abomination to the Lord which He hates they have done to their gods . . . " (Deuteronomy 12:29-31, NKJV)   Note that the issue in this passage is NOT the worship of other gods. The warning is to not adopt CUSTOMS used to worship or honor other gods in order to worship the One True God.
Valentine's day and its symbols are rooted in the worship of false gods and has no Biblical basis. Those who celebrate Valentine's Day and consider themselves believers in the God of the Bible need to take a prayerful look at no longer observing the holiday.  Ignorance of the facts is one thing, but, now that you know, what are you going to do about it?

Shalom  Y'all - Twyla

Comin' In From the Cold

       Yesterday was a cold, windy day.  The day before was colder but less windy.  Yes, it is cold, and we need to know how to deal with the chill in the air.  But, we also have spiritual winters... when spiritual winter arrives it comes in the form of dark and dreary days.  The trials of a spiritual winter are difficult and many.  We need to know how to winterize our lives.  Otherwise spiritual winter can leave us lonely and discouraged.
     One of the things that can make our winter colder is the bitter air of the world.  When we are going through a spiritual winter, we tend to let down our guard... worldly influences creep in... they seep through the cracks of our lives, around the doors to our hearts.  The cold air of influence may come from worldly friends, from the media, or from within - wrong thinking.  We have to get out the caulk and seal up those holes and cracks. The best way to do this is God's Word. Read it. Memorize it. Apply it to our lives.
     The icicles of a cold heart are a problem in the winter, too.  It's easy to develop a coldness of attitude during our winters.  Talking with The Almighty in earnest prayer can melt even the coldest of hearts.
  

     Frost:  If we are going through trials, depression can easily nip at our toes like frost.  Left unchecked, the frost begins to affect more and more of our lives, becoming unbearable.  Inertia sets in.  And, inertia is deadly. Left  unmoved, frost can become frostbite, and frostbite can result in death.  It is, of course, better to prevent the frost from overtaking us, because once it enters us, it is difficult to relieve. Time spent with God every day will keep us warm, warding off the frost of depression and discouragement.
     And, then there are the blizzards of circumstance.  Blizzards can be devastating; the circumstances of our lives can be overwhelming... illness, financial burdens, relationship difficulties. In the times of blizzard, we must remember that God is in control.  Even in the worst of circumstances, He is right there, ready to guide us to a warmer state of mind.
  

 Before winter enters our lives - or even after - we need to pack Emergency Kits for ourselves and our families:
#1: Extra blankets:  Blanketing ourselves with the fellowship of others creates and maintains warmth in
our  lives. We need love and prayers from others to keep the edge off the winter chill.
#2: Non-perishable food:  Scripture is the perfect food;  the Bible offers milk, meat, or manna - depending on  our needs.  Memorized scripture can help us even in the most desperate of winter storms.
#3:Water - Christ is The Living Water.  Drink of His love and strength.  Relying on Christ will keep us  from a  cold, dry, and  bitter existence.  .
#4: Emergency Light source:  God is our light.  His guidance in our daily lives is essential.  In the cold of
      winter we need His light even more.

     We all have spiritual winters in our lives.  But preparing for them can help prevent them from
becoming disastrous.  So, today, take the time to make sure you are prepared for winter.


       SHALOM   Y'ALL  -  TWYLA

They Seldom Look Up

AP Photo/ Heribert Proepper/ File  Lunar Eclipse

     Yesterday evening I tried to write this post.  Twice. The first time it was a disaster and I erased it;  the second time I was very pleased with it, but - somehow - it got "sent into space" (my terminology  for the mysterious way that sometimes a computer makes things disappear, even when you'd SWEAR you didn't touch any button, swizzle, or whoozer...).  So, I'm going to try to reconstruct the post one more time...'cause I think it's a worthy topic.
     Last night/early this morning we had a total lunar eclipse.  A total lunar eclipse occurs when the sun, moon, and earth all line up, casting a shadow over the entire moon.  A tiny bit of light filters through, giving the moon an unusual color. Scientists were saying yesterday that because of the recent volcanic eruptions, the eclipsed moon might appear darker than usual... perhaps a reddish brown...We got up in the middle of the night to see it, but there was total cloud cover.  I was pretty disappointed;  I had hoped to take some photos.
  

Photo taken last night by my daughter, Melody Germain

      Today is also the "shortest day of the year" - the first day of Winter - in the northern hemisphere.  It has been three-hundred-some-odd years since this particular combination of occurrences has happened in the heavenlies. I'd be interested to know  what happened on the earth the last time.  And I am curious as to what will happen this time. Hmmmm.  curiosity mingled with fear.
     God created the heavens and the earth.   "God is not the author of confusion, but of peace." ( I Cor. 14:33)  Everything is in tremendous order.  God is neat as a pin!  And way smarter than all the earth's scientists put together.  The Creator made the stars and calls them all by name. (Psalm  147:4).  The heavens reflect what is happening on earth; or, more likely, vice versa.  So, I believe that when unusual things occur in the skies, unusual things are also occurring on our little planet.
       The Bible teaches that astrology is wrong.  Not so with astronomy.  The "Magi", or wise men,  were astronomers - men who studied the patterns in the stars as a way of reading what was happening on the earth.  Two-thousand or so years ago, the Magi saw an astral occurrence which had never before happened and which has never again occurred;  it was the star of Bethlehem, which ushered in the birth of the Messiah.
  

      Christ Himself spoke of signs and wonders in the skies, particularly related to His second coming: "And there shall be signs in the sun, and in the moon, and in the stars; and upon the earth distress of nations, with perplexity; the sea and the waves roaring;  Men's hearts failing them for fear, and for looking after those things which are coming on the earth: for the powers of heaven shall be shaken.. And when these things begin to come to pass, then look up and lift up your heads; for your redemption draweth nigh."  Luke 21: 25, 26, 28)  We can look at the created for signs, but we need to look to the Creator to worship.
     Many years ago I worked a weekend job as an RN.  I almost always worked with a certain nurse who I will call Sherry.  Sherry was difficult to work with, difficult to get along with.  She was very vocal, complaining about 'most everything and everybody.  Nobody could quite measure up to her demands, although, in fact, I was in charge, not her.  She complained bitterly about the schedule, the weather, whatever... and her conversation was punctuated with language that would make a sailor blush.   One day, when another employee couldn't find a certain piece of equipment, Sherry yelled at them, "Look on the top shelf' I #%& know it's there!"  Then, she turned to me and said, "They never look up.  They never even think to look up." I quietly answered, "You're right;  people hardly ever think to look up."  Sherry audibly gasped: the deeper meaning of my words had gotten through to her.  If only for a moment, she thought of God.  I don't know what ever happened to Sherry, and I don't know whether or not our little conversation made a difference to her.  But, it made an impact on me.  I need to spend more time looking up.  How 'bout you?
     "When I consider thy heavens, the work of thy fingers, the moon and the stars, which thou hast ordained: What is man that thou art mindful of him? and the son of man that thou visitest him?" ( Psalm 8:3,4 ) If I am not looking up to the Creator,  I have only myself to blame.  As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, "Most of the shadows of this life are caused by standing in one's own sunshine."

SHALOM  Y'ALL -  TWYLA

About the Sabbath

       After several years of study, prayer, and deep seeking I have embraced the belief that GOD loves the Sabbath.  He loves it, and He expects us to love it and observe it.   I used to think that Sunday was the Sabbath, because that's the day most churches gather together to worship.  But, the more I studied, the more evidence I found that the Sabbath always was and still is Saturday.  (I won't go into all the details of how this can be proven, but it is provable.)
       And so we observe the Sabbath (Shabbat in the Hebrew language).  We observe Shabbat by resting - not doing "ordinary work".  Although cooking isn't expressly forbidden, I try to prepare most of our food on Friday so that I don't have to cook much on Shabbat.  I don't clean house on Shabbat.  We feed the animals, of course, but we don't clean their coops on Saturday; this is "ordinary work" and can be done the day before or the day after... It's okay to do work that is life-saving.  Just think about it: God chooses life for people - not death.

        Of course, we also observe the Sabbath by studying God's word and by praising Him.  No need to wait until Thanksgiving... go ahead and give Him thanks and praise today!



Our Shabbat table



       Well, I could go on and on about Shabbat - what to do, what not to do, various opinions, etc.  But, what I really want to talk about is how we bring in Shabbat on Friday evening.  It's a beautiful ceremony, and it can be very meaningful.  The lighting of the Sabbath candles is a centuries-old tradition.  Moshe blows the Shofar before we gather at the table.  Tzedakah is given (this is a collection for charity). We read Scriptures ,we recite prayers  in both Hebrew and English,  and blessings are proclaimed over each other and the family. I light the candles;  there are special prayers/and/or songs, and we also read a poem about welcoming Shabbat into our home.  After the candles are lit, Moshe gives the blessings over the wine (grape juice) and the bread. 

     Then, we say "Shabbat Shalom", and it is time to have a nice dinner by candlelight, followed by at least 25 hours of rest.  Nice, huh?

       I didn't go into much detail, but, if you are interested, you can Google Shabbat and get more information on how to celebrate it.  Another time I'll write more about it and include photos of our dining room table when the Shabbat candles are lit and all the Shabbat items are in place.
     Shalom Y'all - Twyla



       

"Let Go and Let God"

   
 Sometimes it is time to let go.  It might be something small such as donating a favorite old sweater to charity.  Or, it might be something as big as ending a relationship.  Or moving to a new town. Sometimes it is simply time to let go.
     Once there was a man walking up a mountain in the cold.  The sun and the wind saw him and decided to make a wager as to who could get him to remove his jacket.  They each would have an hour to try. The wind tried  first; it blew and blew and blew.  The harder the wind blew, the tighter and closer the man held his jacket to him as he walked up the mountain in the cold. Then, it was the sun's turn.  The sun began to shine gently; then increased its' rays on a gradual basis until it was fully shining.  Within half the alotted time, the man had removed his jacket,  rolled up his shirtsleeves, and wiped his brow.  And so it is... the gentle rays of kindness will always get more accomplished than a blustery wind.
     I have often noticed, when holding cats, chickens and squiggly young'uns that they  have a certain tension in their little bodies when they want to get away.  When they want to be held, their muscles are relaxed, but when they are ready to get down, there's not much  you can do to change it.  And, so it is with people and relationships;  when a friendship ends or changes, the only graceful maneuver is to let go.
     One of the mottos frequently used by AA and Al-Anon is: "Let go and let God."  That's it.  We, for all our bravado and outward bluster, are helpless.  The only One with real power is Father God. And, He is such a Gentleman; we have to let go before He will show us all that He has stored up for us.
     Here is a little exercise in self-imagery...  See yourself walking up to a bunch of balloons on a stand.  Take one balloon; you can select your favorite color if you like.  Walk away with the balloon in your hand and stand alone looking skywards.  In your mind write the name of the person, habit, substance... whatever... on the balloon.  Now, when you are ready, release the balloon to the sky.  Watch it float upwards until it disappears.
     Let go and let God.
                Shalom y'all - Twyla