Senior Texting Code

  

WHEN and HOW did I turn into a white-haired lady?

      My (older!!!) brother sent me this.  I read some of  them aloud, and Moshe and I SCREAMED laughing... I had to stop, 'cause it still hurts him to laugh  with the broken rib.  If I knew who wrote it, I would certainly give credit, but, I don't... Let it suffice that I say "Thanks" to whoever it was.  There are a couple of these that I hope to use at the appropriate moment... I think my all-time favorite is BFF (see below).








     Since more and more "older people" are texting and tweeting, there appears to be a need for
a STC (Senior Texting Code):

     ATD:  At The Doctor's

     BFF:  Best Friend Farted

     BTW: Bring The Wheelchair

     BYOT: Bring Your Own Teeth

     CBM: Covered By Medicare

     CUATSC:  See You At The Senior Center

     DWI: Driving While Incontinent

     FWB: Friend With Beta Blockers

     FWIW: Forgot Where I Was

     FYI: Found Your Insulin

     GGPBL:  Gotta Go Pacemaker Battery Low

     GHA: Got Heartburn Again

     HGBM: Had Good Bowel Movement

     IMHO: Is My Hearing-Aid On?

    LMDO: Laughing My Dentures Out

     LOL:  Living On Lipitor

     LWO: Lawrence Welk's On

      OMMR: On My Massage Recliner

     OMSG:  Oh My!  Sorry, Gas.

     ROFL...CGU:  Rolling On the Floor Laughing... and Can't Get Up

     SGGP:  Sorry, Gotta Go Poop

     TTYL: Talk To You Louder

     WAITT:  Who Am I Talking To?

     WTF:  Wet The Furniture

     WTFA:  Wet the Furniture Again

     WTP:  Where's The Prunes?

     WWNO:  Walker Wheels Need Oil

    

Shalom Y'all - Twyla

Pig Talk - A Fly in the Oinkment

My watercolor, "The Three Not-So-Little Pigs"

 
    #1: Did you hear about the pig who opened a pawnshop?  He calls it "Ham Hocks".

     #2: Q: What does a pig say when he's been in the sun too long?  
A: I'm bakin'!

     #3: Q: What is a pig's favorite karate move?   A: The pork chop.

     #4: Q: What does a pig do after school?   A: Hamwork.

     #5: Q: What did the pig say when he was on fire?   A: I smell bacon.


     #6: Q: What does a pig do while playing basketball?   A: Hog the ball.

     #7: Q: Why did the pig go to the casino?   A: To play the slop machines.

     #8: Q: How did the pig win at Monopoly?   A: He built hotels on Pork Place.

     #9: Q: How do you take a pig to the hospital?   A: By hambulance.

    #10: Q: Why was the hog a failure as a TV talk host?   A: He turned out to be a big boar.

    #11:  Q: What do hip pigs call their ladies?   A: Fine swine.

    #12: Q: What do pigs like with chow mein?   A: Sooey sauce.

    #13: Q: What kind of furniture do pigs like?   A: Overstuffed.

    #14: Q: What do pigs sing on New Year's Eve?   A: Auld Lang Swine.

               Shalom Y'all - Twyla

Fall Cleaning

     Oh, my goodness!  SOMEBODY got it in her head to start Fall cleaning... Guess who?  Much like Spring cleaning, it is tiring, yet fun.  I love to rearrange furniture, and, I'm married to the most cooperative guy on the planet.  He not only helps with the moving and cleaning, but also really likes the results!  How nice! I got this brainstorm to swap entire rooms.  So, all the STUFF from two rooms had to be moved.  Wow.  What a job.  But, it's almost completely done, and it has only taken two days. I am amazed.  Of course, my feet hurt terribly, but, that will pass.  I'm so excited;  taking a break at the computer right now, but, can't wait to go back out there and hang curtains!  Photos of the room-swapping result to follow another day...

An Autumn view in the mountains.

      Interesting that the spirit hit me to do Fall cleaning just a few days before Yom Kippur -  the day of atonement.    In Judaism, there is a period of 10 days (the ten days of awe), wherein one is supposed to examine oneself, and "clean up" any messes from the past year... This brings one to better self-realization and to a higher level of communion with God.
  
      So, we are Fall cleaning within and without this week. 


     Shalom Y'all,    
     Twyla