Okay. A friend sent me this Email. I think I may have seen it before, but it still made me laugh. I am adding some clip art, photos, etc. I would give the writer credit if I knew who he or she was... I REALLY wish I had written some of these... Giggle, giggle, snort, guffaw... Not that I understand why, but, #1, # 13, and # 20 make me laugh. Over and over. How 'bout you?
1.The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.
2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian .
3. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.
4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class, because it was a weapon of math disruption.
5. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.
6. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.
7. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.
8. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.
9. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.
10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
11. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
12. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other: “You stay here; I'll go on a head.”
13. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger.Then it hit me.
14. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: “Keep off the Grass.”
15. The midget fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.
16. The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.
17. A backward poet writes inverse.
18. In a democracy it's your vote that counts. In feudalism it's your count that votes.
19. If you jumped off the bridge in Paris, you'd be in Seine .
20. A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons. The flight attendant looks at him and says,
“I'm sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger.”
21. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the other and says “Dam!”
22. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.
23. Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says, “I've lost my electron. ”The other says “Are you sure?” The first replies, “Yes, I'm positive.”
24. Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal? His goal: transcend dental medication.
25. There was the person who sent ten puns to friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.
SHALOM Y'ALL - TWYLA :)
Southerners have the lowest stress rate because they do not take medical terminology seriously. You're gonna' die anyway, so live life and don't worry so much!
Pickles was adopted from the Humane Society Friday March 11th, and brought home to join Moshe, Twyla, CassPurr, Moxie and Beau. Pickles is a very active, very funny kitten about 8 months old. He has already brought us lots of laughs. He loves to play with fingers and toes, teases Moxie and CassPurr with his antics, sleeps nuzzled either by my side or in Moshe's beard! He prefers my home made dog food to the storebought cat food that CassPurr eats, so he now had his very own little bowl for just that! He likes to watch the toilet flush, and he loves to watch TV! (Don't bother asking, Pickles... Moshe will never give up the remote!)
