And, now, my story: I started babysitting at a very early age - 11 years old. I kept babysitting for that same family, and, by the time I graduated from high school, they had five children, the youngest being 5 years old. I knew from that wonderful big family that I wanted to marry and have a bunch of children. But, when I was 19 or 20 years old - I can't remember exactly - I had an emergency surgery for a ruptured ovarian cyst. They had to take the ovary and the tube as well as the cyst. The surgeon told me that the other ovary and tube were hopelessly twisted, and that I would never have children.
Over the years I told myself that it was "for the best". I can remember telling that to girlfriends, saying such things as, "Oh, well, I guess I never REALLY wanted kids anyway." (I realize now that those friends certainly didn't believe me when I said such things... Anyone who remotely knows me knows that I have a soft heart for baby critters of various sorts. It was a coping mechanism. Denial, pure and simple.) I concentrated my energy toward my work and hobbies. I think I tried 'most every hobby there ever was. I made candles, I sewed, I did stained glass, I painted, I did macrame, knitting, crocheting, cross stitch, embroidery, cake decorating. I played piano and guitar, and sang for weddings, church services, funerals... well, you get the idea... I stayed busy. I went out and "partied" occasionally, but it was never really my favorite thing... I always enjoyed decorating my various houses and apartments. I always enjoyed cooking and baking and "keeping house", even though I lived alone all those years.
About thirty-four years ago I was living in San Francisco. I had a very good job working as an internal auditor for Macy's of California. While working there, I met a gorgeous man. He was tall, dark, and handsome. He was also very funny, very charming, sang like an angel. I had an affair with him. It's not my proudest moment, but that's what happened. He was irresistible. (Unfortunately I found out later that he was irresistible to other gals as well... but, I digress.) 
I got a really bad cold. The bronchitis kind, where you cough and gag and feel like death. I went to my HMO's hospital to get checked out and see if I needed antibiotics or something... A couple of miraculous things happened with that medical visit. #1: I had never used my HMO before, so they did a standard set of tests - a patient baseline should I ever return. This baseline included several blood and urine tests. We'll get back to that in a minute. #2: The doctor prescribed an antibiotic, which I took. And a cough medicine, which - for some reason - I just didn't feel right taking. (Yes, I had that terrible cough, but, somehow, something told me NOT to take that cough syrup!)
A couple days later, I answered my phone at work. It was someone from the hospital: "Congratulations... We just wanted to let you know that your pregnancy test came back positive. We have set you up with an Obstetrician for such and such date. And, the doctor wants you to stop taking the cough syrup because it has codeine in it and it could hurt the baby."
And the earth stood still. Oh, my gosh. There I was at work. Nobody to tell this shocking but wonderful but terrible news to. I don't know how I made it through the rest of the workday, but I did. I don't remember who I told first... maybe my brother and sister-in-law, who also lived in San Fransisco at the time. I know I told one friend at work. Her name was Margaret-Ann. The moment she heard my news, she said, "Whatever you do, don't have an abortion. I had one, and I've never gotten over it. No matter what anybody tells you, it's a bad, bad thing." I told her I wasn't even considering it; I knew it wasn't the right decision for me.
Of all the many people I knew, only one woman suggested that I have an abortion. I told her it wasn't an option for me. The baby's father didn't suggest it. He offered to marry me, but I declined. I knew it would be a mistake. (By then I was aware of the other ladies who found him irresistible; I knew I couldn't live my life with a cheater, no matter how handsome or charming.) And so, I prepared to become a single mother. I never doubted that I could handle it. My pregnancy was fabulous; it was the opposite of what most women report. I felt wonderful the whole time. I glowed. I had energy. I was very, very happy - all the time. It didn't slow me down at all - I walked, exercised, cleaned, you-name-it, just as I always had.
The delivery was equally as wonderful. I did LaMaze natural childbirth and the baby was born less than three hours after I went to the hospital. She was born smiling and bright-eyed, looking all around the room, full of wonder at her new surroundings. I took to motherhood like white on rice. It was a good thing. Not necessarily an easy thing; but, a good thing.
Such was our life. More interesting than most people's, I think We didn't have much money, but we lived! I remember one time we made a meal together in which every item had to be round. (Oddly enough, that same little girl came over and saw our odd meal... I wonder how much we warped that kid's mind?) We always had cats, and they were just as likely to walk through my kitchen with a dress or a sweatshirt on as not. We had an imaginary TV cooking show, which I was the star of and my daughter was the director. This went on for YEARS, and we never seemed to get tired of it. We still occasionally call each other by our "cooking show names".
I have never regretted - not even for a second - my decision to keep the baby and to raise her myself. Life begins at the moment of conception. It pains me terribly to think that the world has been cheated out of the pleasure of knowing many, many wonderful children such as the one I was blessed with. Who knows what talent, what intelligence, what love was lost through the decisions to abort babies... I don't write this to condemn those who made such a decision. But, I do write in hopes that someone will make the right decision and NOT have an abortion. Choose life!
"I set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life..." Deuteronomy 30:15
Shalom Y'all - Twyla
No comments:
Post a Comment