Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Hello From the Dog...

A friend sent me this email today.  It's so reflective of how  a dog must feel. I'm adding photos, etc. Again, as is with so many emails, I wish I knew who originally wrote it so that I could give them credit.

 Dear God: It's me, the Dog 

Dear God:  Is it on purpose that our names are the same, only reversed? 

Dear God:  Why do humans smell the flowers, but seldom, if ever, smell one another? 

Dear God:  When we get to Heaven, can we sit on your couch?  Or will it be the same old story? 

Dear God:  Why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cougar, the mustang, the colt, the stingray, and the rabbit, but not ONE named for a Dog? How often do you see a cougar riding around? We love a nice car ride! Would it be so hard to rename the 'Chrysler Eagle' the 'Chrysler Beagle'? 

Dear God:  If a Dog barks his head off in the forest and no human hears him, is he still a bad Dog? 

Dear God: We Dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand signals, whistles, horns, clickers, beepers, scent IDs, electromagnetic energy fields, and Frisbee flight paths. What do humans understand? 

Dear God:  More meatballs, less spaghetti, please. 

Dear God:  Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I have to apologize? 

Dear God:  Here is a list of just some of the things I must remember to be a good Dog: 

1. I will not eat the cat's food before he eats it or after he throws it up. 

2. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc., just because I like the way they smell. 
3. The Litter Box is not a cookie jar. 

4. The sofa is not a 'face towel'. 

5. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff. 

6. I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the toilet. 

7.  Sticking my nose into someones crotch is an unacceptable way of saying 'hello'. 

8. I don't need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm under the coffee table. 

9. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house - not after. 

10. I will not come in from outside, and immediately drag my butt across the carpet. 

11. I will not sit in the middle of the living room, and lick my crotch. 

12. The cat is not a 'squeaky toy', so when I play with him and he makes that noise, 
it's usually not a good thing. 

P.S.  Dear God: When I get to Heaven, may I have my testicles back?


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