Suicide

     Suicide.  What a terrible topic. But that's what we are dealing with right now.  Our neighbor shot himself day before yesterday.  He had had multiple medical problems for the past several months, and, apparently, it was just too much for him to deal with.  It's such a shame;  he was a funny, funny guy.  Intelligent.  Articulate. Caring.  A leader in the community. We didn't know him real well, but had been to their house a few times and vice versa, and had been out to eat with them a couple times.
     Moshe blogged about this same topic yesterday; I was going to, but ran out of time... I guess Jim ran out of time, too...  And, ran out of energy.  And hope.
     Moshe and I thought that maybe the two days of torrential rains was the last straw for Jim.  But, after visiting with his wife yesterday, I realize that he had been planning this for some time.  It was organized; he left a note at home and attached another note to his clothes so that whoever found him would contact the family.  He left "his affairs in order".  He tried to be as thorough and considerate as one can be while still doing this deed...
     I hold no judgement.  I don't know many people who have not been low enough at one time or another to contemplate ending their own life.  When I went through the most serious stages of my illness,  I thought about it alot.  This lasted several years!  Somehow you get  an abnormal chemical balance in your brain, and your thinking is way off.  Anger turns inward.  You get into a pattern of wrong-thinking.  Yet, somehow, at the time it seems like the only way...The great prophet Elija was so despondent when Jezebel was hunting him down, that he begged Adonai to kill him.   Other Biblical writers who expressed great distress and depression are Job, David, Solomon, and Jeremiah to name a few.
     I believe that these examples are in Adonai's word as examples for us... to let us know that we are not the only one who has ever experienced these feelings... that we are not condemned for having these feelings.  I also hold out hope that we will see Jim again in heaven.  I know that many religions teach that suicide is a sin that cannot be forgiven, but I refuse to believe this.  None of us knows what occurs in those final moments.  We don't know how long the spirit stays in the body;  we do know that the brain continues to function for a few moments.  And, the great God of infinite wisdom, power, and mercy could well visit the soul of a "dead" person,  commune with him, and welcome him to eternity.  The Bible says that it is the Lord's will that all be saved.  The Holy One, blessed be He,  can redeem us for any and all sins. 

SHALOM  Y'ALL - Twyla

" Call unto me, and I will answer thee, and show you great and mighty things, which thou knowest not"